Being Sad and Lonely is a Real Problem: The Loneliness Epidemic
The “Loneliness Epidemic” has been a big issue for a lot of people for the last few years, especially after the COVID lockdown. Recently, I’ve been seeing it in strangers that I meet. A lot of these people struggle with feeling alone and isolated. They always claim they want to build new relationships or strengthen the ones they have but it’s something they find difficult. As someone who struggled with feeling lonesome throughout their younger years, I empathize with those people on a deep level. I want to use this piece to talk about loneliness and ways you could possibly beat it.
In 2023, the loneliness struggle was so real in America that the U.S. Surgeon General released an advisory, saying “Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation has been an underappreciated public health crisis that has harmed individual and societal health . . . Given the significant health consequences of loneliness and isolation, we must prioritize building social connection the same way we have prioritized other critical public health issues such as tobacco, obesity, and substance use disorders.” The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services released data stating people who report being lonely are more likely to have depression, dementia, heart disease, stroke, and are more than 60% more likely to have a premature death altogether. Needless to say, being lonely is an actual problem and can be dangerous.
One issue I ran into when trying to help the lonely people I met was getting them outside of the house to hang out with me. Many of them didn’t care to go out when I invited them despite the fact they claimed to feel left out. To those on the outside looking in, that makes absolutely no sense- how are you going to be included if you never leave your house to be with others? Turns out, it makes perfect sense. The New York Times published an article asking the question: why is loneliness so hard to fix? The article says “Loneliness is a compound or multidimensional emotion: It contains elements of sadness and anxiety, fear and heartache.” This means that the negative emotions causing the loneliness may make someone want to isolate even more. The article also makes a note that loneliness is more than just not having someone to hang out with, “The experience of it is inherently, intensely subjective, as any chronically lonely person can tell you. A clerk at a crowded grocery store can be wildly lonely, just as a wizened hermit living in a cave can weather solitude in perfect bliss.” Feeling sad and isolated is about craving human connection, not just simply being by yourself. Hanging out in a group doesn’t mean you’ll be any less lonely than sitting in your room by yourself. The cure isn’t cut-and-dry.
According to Vox, there are factors that increase the likelihood of feeling isolated. Factors like having low income and being a person of color increase your chances and people in those groups reported having higher percentages of feeling desolate. Despite this, no one is safe from feeling lonely. No matter where you come from, what you have, or even how large your friend group is- anyone can feel isolated. That’s sad as hell, but also good because it means that anyone suffering through it isn’t alone.
My Tips
Lastly, how do you overcome loneliness? There are lots of ways you could look up online and research, and blah, blah, blah. In this article, I’m gonna talk about how I beat mine.
The first thing I did was leave the house. Since I didn’t have friends to do stuff with I started doing things by myself, but if I was invited somewhere by someone else I made sure to go. I forced myself to be around other people either way. Getting out of your house not only allows for building connections with others, but it also is a form of self-care (which is good for your mental health). So take any opportunity to get outside and do something- no matter if you’re alone or with others.
Secondly, work on watering the relationships you already have. Set up scheduled times when you’ll call someone you care about or just send out friendly “just checking on you” texts every now and again. It allows for people to communicate with you to lift your spirits (If they don’t, you should drop them) and acts as a reminder that you are not alone because you have people you can indeed reach out to.
Next, I engaged with strangers. Even if it’s just giving a compliment to someone you see walking by or asking someone where there’s good parking, open your mouth and speak to people you don’t know. If you’re shy, it may be harder said than done but I got over my anxiety by doing it often until it became effortless. When you open yourself up to others by showing you’re willing to talk to them, you let them know it’s safe to talk to you. That’s how almost all of my friendships formed- me just saying “Hi” to a random person and making small talk.
I hope this article was able to give some information and consolidation to someone who is struggling with feeling alone. Again, I know first-hand how difficult it can be. Just know that it’s not something to lose hope over and that there are people who would feel honored to know you. Some people already do. Just keep your head up to the sky and be patient until you get where you’re hoping to be- we all have to do that. Love and friendship are waiting for you. You’ll be just fine, love.
