what’s pretty got to do with it: what Is “Pretty Privilege”?
I get called pretty a lot, even on days when I think look a hot mess. When I was younger, being called pretty was one of the biggest compliments I could receive. However, as a young adult, I started examining why people were so focused on being physically attractive when I grew up being told that what mattered was on the inside. I wonder- was that a complete lie?
When I was very young, I was severely insecure about my looks. So much so, that it was painful. I did not think that I was even slightly physically pretty. As a kid, I was called “ugly” a lot by my peers. Once I accepted that my looks would not work in my favor, I put all of my focus into doing well in school and being a kind person. It wasn’t until my junior year of high school that things changed. I started wearing makeup and got contacts (which means I lost my nerdy glasses). These things made me look almost completely different. For the first time in my life, I was pretty. People often complimented me on my looks, I got stares when I walked into public places, and guys seemed interested in me- which never happened before. It was weird. Now that I was deemed “attractive”, I put a lot more emphasis and energy into my looks. Beforehand, I never cared to try to look good- I figured if I was ugly, why bother trying to look like I wasn’t? After people thought that I did look good, I wanted to maintain that by making sure I looked attractive all the time.
Dictionary.com defines the term “Pretty Privilege” as an unearned and mostly unacknowledged societal advantage that a person has by fitting into the beauty standards of their culture. In other words, it is when someone benefits for being considered above-average looking.
With the economy being trash right now, jobs are hard to find for many people. However, One major way Petty Privilege comes in hand is when it involves employment. One thesis published by Middle Tennessee State University confirmed that attractiveness plays a part in a job’s hiring process, “The results suggest that both physical attractiveness and perceived efficacy are positively related to hiring choice . . . These results confirm previous research that attractiveness plays a role in the hiring process.” The study stated that the more attractive the hiring staff thinks you are, the more they think you are capable of doing your job well- therefore they are more likely to hire you. Another study found that attractive people also tend to have higher earnings.
Despite the money and job aspects, the biggest privileges come socially. There have been studies that suggest that attractive people tend to be perceived as healthier, have better social relationships, and are thought to have better personality traits (i.e. trustworthy, funny, etc.). This is due to a psychological term called The Halo Effect, which is when we unconsciously assign positive traits to those we deem very attractive. This effect would mean that people high on the attractiveness scale also have high social capital they reap the benefits of. The Time published an article saying, “The social advantages of pretty privilege are many: good-looking people come off as smart, capable, trustworthy, and generally morally virtuous. If you’re hot, your dating app matches will never run empty. People will buy you drinks at bars, randomly do nice things for you, give you gifts, and generally go out of their way for you.”
A Reddit post I found discussing Pretty Privilege
So, what can be done for those feel like they aren’t pretty? When I was a kid, I wanted to know how to not feel bad about myself. As much as we should “love ourselves as we are” and “not care about what other people think”, the reality is that these are much easier said than done. The sociological term The Looking Glass Self even proves why that is so damn difficult. The way we see ourselves is shaped by how we believe other people see us. If we see what is considered beautiful and realize we don’t fit into the prototype, it is easy to think of ourselves as ugly.
Anita Bhagwandas is a Beauty and Lifestyle journalist for The Guardian. She wrote an article titled “I’ve always felt on the outside of pretty looking in’: a beauty writer on how she finally stopped feeling ugly”. In the piece, she talks about her experiences believing she was ugly for most of her life and how she overcame it. One thing that improved her negative self-view was to educate herself on the patriarchal ideals that shape what we think is beautiful, “But when I started to read about how beauty standards were created, who created them and who was holding the puppet strings that are making so many of us feel ugly, things started to gradually shift.” With her new knowledge she began questioning when brands targeted women by promising beauty. She then vowed not to buy any product unless she actually liked or needed it- not because of the beauty it claimed to give. On top of that, and perhaps more importantly, she made a conscious effort to stop her negative self-talk. I am not sure there are any definite ways to stop thinking you’re unattractive, but there are testimonies like Bhagwandas’ and tips on how to gain self-esteem.
At then end of the day, “Pretty Privilege” is just another superficial thing that has little actual value. If you’re lucky enough to have it, be aware of the benefits you get from it. Let the knowledge inspire sympathy towards those who don’t fit into the physical societal ideals. Let that be the reason you never judge anyone based on their appearances. If you do not have this “Pretty Privilege”, I hope you gain some awareness too. What is and is not pretty was created by a patriacharical ideas- it’s not really substantial. So what, you don’t look like a super model. It doesn’t mean you can’t be likable, intelligent, funny, trust-worthy, kind, and dope as fuck. When everyone grows old, their looks change. When that happens, especially with women, the “pretty” traits associated with youth fade away. When we eventually die, our looks become irrelevant to the legacy we leave behind. At the end of the day, our value doesn’t lie in what we look like, it lies in whether we left the world in a better condition that when we found it. If you made the world a better place, no matter if it was on a small or large scale, you’re beautiful. I’d rather be that than just simply “pretty”.
